Even while the divorce is ongoing in North Carolina, you and your spouse must already prepare the children for the changes that can happen. This includes the possibility of shared parenting time and the new setup that they will have to live with.
Going through a divorce and co-parenting can be difficult for you and your spouse, but it can also have long-term unseen effects on your children. Co-parents should mentally and emotionally ease them into the transformations in the family’s setup. Here are some tips on how to help them adjust to co-parenting.
1. Explain parenting schedules appropriately
Let your children know how the parenting schedule will work. Allow your children to ask questions and patiently answer them to the best of your abilities.
Make sure to explain this concept to them in a manner that suits their age. You do not have to explain every specific detail of your parenting schedule to your children, but they must understand the logistics, as well as how this schedule and arrangement will affect their lives.
Depending on their age, you may also wish to take your children’s preferences into consideration when crafting your parenting plan, as long as their preferences are reasonable.
2. Avoid maligning your spouse
You and your ex-spouse should aim to explain the divorce and the concept of co-parenting to your child together. Whether or not this is possible, you should be mindful not to denigrate each other. Remember that the goal of explaining co-parenting to them is to help them adjust and find reassurance despite the changes.
This point also remains relevant as you begin co-parenting after the divorce. Children might take such comments very personally, so both parents should avoid speaking badly of each other.
3. Do regular check-ins
Be sure to consistently check in with your children. Be mindful of their body language and activities. It can help to ask about their reaction to the incoming changes, such as how they feel and think about it.
It will take time for them to adapt to the new situation. That is why parents should make sure they are there for their kids.
Most importantly, it can help to reassure them that the divorce is not their fault. No matter what changes the family goes through, reassure them that they are loved.