Going through a divorce is often filled with bad feelings. You may have felt unappreciated or unloved in your marriage. Perhaps you were betrayed by your ex, leaving you feel hurt and lonely. You may be looking for something to fill the void in your heart and get you moving forward.
Dating while your divorce is still underway can be tempting. But there are a few compelling reasons to hold off on dating until your divorce is final.
It could hinder your ability to settle.
Your ex may feel jealous if they learn you’re dating someone new already. They could feel replaced. Working with an emotionally bruised ex to settle on divorce terms can get much trickier when they’re feeling resentful. If you want to get through the divorce amicably—which you should definitely try to do if you have kids together—then resist the urge to hit the dating apps until your divorce is final.
It could hurt your kids.
It’s easy to focus on your own pain during your divorce, but remember that splitting time between two parents will be a difficult transition for your kids too. It’s important to make extra time for them during this process, so that they feel supported. If you start dating during this process—even casually—it can end up taking a lot of your time. Your kids could feel that you’re choosing to a date over being with them.
It could affect your parenting plan.
Ever parent is careful about who they allow to be around their kids. If you start a new relationship before your divorce is settled, this could raise red flags for your ex when negotiating a parenting plan. Your ex may not feel as agreeable to giving you time with your kids if there will be a stranger there. It could raise concerns about the influence your new love interest will have on raising your kids.
You spent many turbulent years in your marriage and are looking forward to starting new. You may be excited to start dating again. But the benefits of waiting until your divorce is final can pay off greatly in the long run.