One of the most difficult things for parents to do is to work out the child custody terms when they go through a divorce. It’s not always easy to come to an agreement on what needs to happen, but parents who can work together from the start can usually have a more relaxed parenting relationship after the divorce.

You and your ex may plan on co-parenting, which means you’re going to remain in close contact to raise the children. Consider these tips if this is your chosen parenting style:

1: Communicate directly with each other

Direct communication takes a lot of guesswork out of the situation. Never try to pass messages with the children because they may not be relayed correctly. Your communication should always be respectful and related to the children.

2: Keep disagreements away from the children

You and your ex will likely disagree sometimes. Try to keep this away from the children. Transition days are especially hard on the kids, so avoid bringing up anything contentious during that time.

3: Compromise fairly

There might be times when you and your ex need to compromise to make things work for the children. This give and take should be mutual and always in the child’s best interests. For example, you may need the children on your ex’s weekend because your family is coming in from out of town. Compromising with your ex can make it happen, but you’ll also have to make some concessions.

Make sure the parenting plan has comprehensive terms for what’s going to happen with custody. As the child’s needs change, you may need to modify the agreement. Every custody case is unique, so work with someone who can help you find solutions that are in your child’s best interests.