Going through a divorce is a traumatic situation for many people. If your ex is diagnosed narcissist, you may find that you’re in a battle that’s more intense than you expected. One of the traits of a narcissist is that they’re self-serving. They don’t have the ability to negotiate with anyone, so that makes coming up with the divorce terms challenging.

Dealing with a narcissist during a divorce requires you to have a special strategy. Planning carefully can be beneficial in these cases.

#1: Prepare everything ahead of time

If possible, get everything together for the divorce before the narcissist knows you want to end the marriage. This won’t be possible if you’re in an abusive marriage. Some of the things you can gather include financial statements and records for the children. You should also try to have money saved up to support yourself.

#2: Keep emotions out of discussions

Narcissists thrive on invoking emotions in others. They adjust their tactics to those that they deem effective. Try not to show any emotion when you’re dealing with them, but be prepared to be met with anger since you aren’t giving them what they want.

#3: Retain proof of everything

Keep copies of everything that you’ll need during the divorce. This includes the receipts from anything you purchased for the marital home, things for the children and similar matters. It’s also a good idea to keep records of communication with your ex. Narcissists live in their own reality so you may have to show that you’re being truthful about things.

#4: Remain consistent for the children

Children who are going through their parents’ divorce need consistency. It’s highly unlikely that a narcissist will be able to think about what the children need during and after your divorce. Talk to them about what’s going on so you can find out what they need and help them to get those things.

#5: Determine what’s worth fighting for

More than likely, every step of the divorce will be a battle. You need to decide which battles are worth fighting. Trying to fight every one will likely be exhausting, so it’s better to put your energy to the ones that truly matter to you.

One of the most important things you can do when you’re going through a divorce is to have people on your side who can help you make decisions that are in your best interests. If your ex is a narcissist, you need someone who understands how to handle this situation while protecting your legal rights.